Here we go

When there is chaos, God is doing something.

The last three weeks have been filled with chaos. I sent out support letters, waited for responses, waited to play things by ear. I made a packing list two weeks ago. I whittled away at it slowly, exhausting my life's savings (okay, past year's savings) stocking up for the trip, buying everything from floss to meningitis vaccines, compiling a small library of essential reading for the trip after many trips to thrift stores and book stores (see the bottom). If nothing else, I will have stuff to read. I made more lists, revised the old ones, filed them away neatly. Do you know how many little things you have to do before you leave the country for three months? Do you know how much worse it is if you're a procrastinator?

I prepacked, I unpacked, I repacked, I depacked, I...mispacked. Okay, I packed. I repeated. Tonight, I pulled everything out and did it again. I understand why some people hate traveling. And as I have crammed three months of living - frugal living - into a trunk, a duffel bag and a backpack, I have at least a little bit of worry that something important isn't in there.

Packing chaos aside, I can think of no better way to spend my last full day in the United States than to sit in a ballpark with my dad and my brothers, eating a hot dog and watching Nate Robertson throw a gem and the Tigers gain another victory.

But everything was waiting for me when I came home. The trunk, the lists, the little things, the chaos... The good-byes. Just as we were driving down my block, "Time to say good-bye" came out of the iPod. Not kidding. It's a beautiful song, one that just about moves me to tears even when I'm not about to leave everyone I know and move to a foreign country for three months, but it reminded me that at noon tomorrow, I will leave.

My Uncle Jim and Aunt Bonnie stopped by to bid me farewell, to offer prayers of support. After they were gone, I stood with my family - brothers and sisters and parents all in one room - for one last time and told them I was thankful for them and that I had their support. I cried. I am thankful for my family. I said good bye to Jon and Mary, then Jon and Bethany. Tomorrow morning, I will say good bye to Stephanie and Mom, then finally, as I walk up the ramp at the airport, to my dad, and I will be alone in the world and all of the chaos will end regardless of whether or not my lists are all checked off or if I remembered to pack dental floss or if I feel the least bit prepared.

Or maybe, then again, the chaos will be just beginning.

And so you have my last blog before I am gone. I promise, they'll get more interesting after I land in Dar Es Salaam late Tuesday, jet-lagged and hungry and wondering where I can get dental floss.

One love.

Oh yeah, the reading list:
-J.R.R. Tolkien - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King (I have to read them someday might as well do it now)
-Flannery O'Connor - The Complete Stories
-Saul Bellow - Henderson the Rain King
-John Steinbeck - East of Eden (This one is really, really long.)
-Chuck Klosterman - Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs
-C.S. Lewis - Selected Works
-Various - Great American Short Stories
-Elie Wiesel - Night
-A Thesaurus
-Strunk and White - The Elements of Style